Is it possible to NOT have haters? And if so…what is the secret formula to living a hater free life?
Well, in my short (or long, however you want to look at it) 36 years I’ve encountered my fair share of haters. I’ve seen haters in action more times than I can count and I have occasionally and shamefully dabbled in hate. (Masked as gossip)
I think to crack the code you first have to answer the age-old question:
What makes haters hate?
Google anyone in the history of the universe who has ever done anything out of the ordinary and they will have their share of haters. They could’ve graced every cover of sports illustrated, they could’ve won 12 Oscars, they could’ve given billions to charity…they have haters.
It’s a fact.
It’s human nature to hate those who have what we wish we had. Be it money, looks, power, success, health, blessings, a great spouse, fame, popularity, happiness….if we feel even a bit lacking in any of those departments, we open the door to hate. And we take it out on the nearest person who catches our attention.
We disguise hate with gossip, a favorite way to raise our shaky self esteem. If we put down who we are intimidated by or jealous of, we appear bigger, better, smarter, cooler….
So to avoid haters it’s easiest to avoid being anything other than average. Don’t dress too well, accomplish too much, live too large, give too much, be too smart, have too many friends, be too successful.
In other words be bland, boring, devoid of opinion and passion. Do not make a difference in this world. Do not do anything noticeable. In fact it’s best if you stay in your small modest home and avoid all people. Do not ever ever ever take any risks. With risks come rewards and haters hate when you are rewarded with attention or success. Don’t do too good of a job in your hopefully menial job. BE AVERAGE.
But…don’t be too average, or boring, or ugly, or bland. There are haters who like to pick on those unfortunate too. It makes them feel big. Stay neutral. Don’t make eye contact. Limit all contact with the human race.
Now if all this is too hard for you to do and you have this uncontrollable desire to live this short life we are given to it’s fullest. If you think you actually have something to offer and want to leave some sort of an imprint in this world. If you are blessed with a talent or trait that is above average and want to make the most of it…then you have no choice but to welcome the inevitable haters with open arms.
Understand they come with the territory of being anything above ordinary. They are like flies…part of this world. They buzz and occasionally bite. But they are small…annoying yes…but small and ugly. And they in no way have the power to take away what makes you worthy of haters. Unless you let them consume you. Or you become them. They want you to stoop to their level. It levels the field for them. But do your best to stay above them. Swat them away…ignore their buzzzzzzzzzz
Eventually they’ll move on. And you will remain above ordinary. While they remain…well flies.
Now a warning: If you do choose to be your extra-ordinary awesome self, be aware that everyone has the capacity to feel jealousy…. Even you.
Every time you yourself fall into that gossipy fly-like trap, you lower your extra-ordinariness to the point that no matter how pretty, skinny, rich, kind, successful, AMAZING you are…you have turned into AVERAGE. You have turned into a hater.
So decide if you prefer a hater free life or a hater filled life and live your life in that manner. No regrets. No turning back.
Accept the haters BUZZZZZZZZZZ
or stay home ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Aug 13, 2012 / Musings