Shan­non (the sec­re­tary) lost her cat and asked David (the graph­ic design­er) to help with a lost poster. This is their email cor­re­spon­dence…
From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David
Sub­ject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yes­ter­day and my cat got out and has been miss­ing since then so I was won­der­ing if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will pho­to­copy it and put it around my sub­urb this after­noon.

This is the only pho­to of her I have she answers to the name Mis­sy and is black and white and about 8 months old. miss­ing on Harp­er street and my phone num­ber.
Thanks Shan.
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From:David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Poster
Dear Shan­non,
That is shock­ing news. Luck­i­ly I was sit­ting down when I read your email and not half way up a lad­der or tree. How are you hold­ing up? I am sur­prised you man­aged to attend work at all what with think­ing about Mis­sy out there cold, fright­ened and alone… pos­si­bly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehi­cle, call­ing out “Shan­non, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expect­ing com­plet­ed work this after­noon, I will, of course, drop every­thing and do what­ev­er it takes to facil­i­tate the speedy return of Mis­sy.
Regards, David.
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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you don’t like cats but I am real­ly wor­ried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shan­non,
I nev­er said I don’t like cats. Once, hav­ing been invit­ed to a par­ty, I went clothes shop­ping before­hand and bought a pair of expen­sive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I want­ed them so bad­ly I fig­ured I could just wear them with­out socks and cut my toe­nails very short. As the par­ty was only a few blocks from my place, I decid­ed to walk. After the first block, I lost all feel­ing in my feet. Arriv­ing at the par­ty, I stum­bled into a guy named Steven, spilling Mal­ibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the inci­dent, Steven sat down in a chair already occu­pied by a cat. The sur­prised cat clawed and snarled caus­ing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his fore­head onto the cor­ner of a speak­er; result­ing in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defe­cat­ed, leav­ing Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige car­go pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as request­ed.
Regards, David.

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah that’s not what I was look­ing for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the pho­to of Mis­sy is so small?
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shan­non,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the neg­a­tive space.
Regards, David.
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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Thats just stu­pid. Can you do it prop­er­ly please? I am extreme­ly emo­tion­al over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is fun­ny. Can you make the pho­to big­ger please and fix the text and do it in col­or please. Thanks.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shan­non,
Hav­ing worked with design­ers for a few years now, I would have assumed you under­stood, despite our vague sug­ges­tions oth­er­wise, we do not wel­come con­struc­tive crit­i­cism. I don’t come down­stairs and tell you how to send text mes­sages, log onto Face­book and look out of the win­dow. I am will­ing to over­look this faux pas due to you no doubt being pre­oc­cu­pied with thoughts of Mis­sy attempt­ing to make her way home across busy inter­sec­tions or being trapped in a drain as it slow­ly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amend­ed and attached the poster as per your instruc­tions.
Regards, David.

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This is worse than the oth­er one. can you make it so it shows the whole pho­to of Mis­sy and delete the stu­pid text that says miss­ing mis­sy off it? I just want it to say Lost.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a pho­to and the word lost and the tele­phone num­ber and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or any­thing stu­pid. I have to leave ear­ly today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Awww
Dear Shan­non,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apart­ment and explained the con­cept of kit­ty lit­ter, I kept the cat in a closed card­board box in the shed and for­got about it. If I want­ed to feed some­thing and clean feces, I wouldn’t have put my moth­er in that home after her stroke. A week lat­er, when my friend came to col­lect his cat, I pre­tend­ed that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Appar­ent­ly I failed to put enough stamps on the pack­age and he had to col­lect it from the post office and pay eigh­teen dol­lars. He still goes on about that some­times, peo­ple need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amend­ed ver­sion of your poster as per your detailed instruc­tions.
Regards, David.

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Sub­ject: Re: Awww
Thats not my cat. where did you get that pic­ture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a pho­to of my cat.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Awww
I know, but that one is cute. As Mis­sy has quite pos­si­bly met any one of sev­er­al vio­lent ends, it is pos­si­ble you might get a bet­ter cat out of this. If any­body calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can polite­ly decline and save your­self a cost­ly vet­eri­nar­i­an bill.
I knew some­one who had a bas­set hound that had its hind legs removed after an acci­dent and it had to walk around with one of those lit­tle bug­gies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote con­trol installed. I could charge neigh­bor­hood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could dri­ve it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.
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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please just use the pho­to I gave you.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didn’t say there was a reward. I don’t have $2000 dol­lars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is per­fect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off alto­geth­er? I have to leave in ten min­utes and I still have to make pho­to­copies of it.
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From: David
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shan­non
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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From: Shan­non
Date: Mon­day 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David
Sub­ject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do..

Feb 27, 2011 / Blog / Mus­ings

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